something from a while ago: i once heard my neighbor screaming for help. i finally located a pair of feet sticking out from under his Chrysler. a disturbing resemblance to the wicked witch. the tire jack akimbo. his chest pinned …Continue Reading >>
I got an xray the other day. hold your breath. relax. arms here. i’m going to scoot you forward. okay, hold your breath. relax. all done. And the efficient young twerp began reviewing my “films” before I’d left the …Continue Reading >>
i have so many pieces of paper that i must consider here in this house: taxes, medical insurance, last will and testament. but instead i watch ellen on tv, check the latest poll results, walk the dog. this dog has …Continue Reading >>
i will tell you secrets. horrible secrets: my chest is tight. my breathing more labored. i imagine the solid gelatinous masses pining for one another. merging at some unknown moment and pinching off the air in me. the trachea. the middle …Continue Reading >>
i am waking up this morning. if my body is under me, or on top of me, hard to tell. then i am standing. and the slant in this old floor pitches me sideways more than usual. that is a clue. there are …Continue Reading >>
people have been so generous. and it breaks my heart. thank you. the people i love and people i do not know. making this commitment to this idea. or to me. i don’t know which. sacrificing some small thing they …Continue Reading >>
6 weeks ago i went on a bike ride today. in an utterly innocent body. there is no hint or ache or muted scream from any of the four corners of the beast. all is perfectly seated pistons. eager happy …Continue Reading >>
my great uncle laurence was a skeleton in a plaid shirt with a crooked belt and he hated wildlife and baby kittens. he once soaked a cow carcass in gasoline and lit it on fire so the coyotes wouldn’t eat it. they didn’t. and it just sat at the end of the meadow and rotted. and my dad with the weakest stomach on Indian creek. the worst barbecue ever.Continue Reading >>
Back in the saddle again. Maybe a little less lucid than sometimes. Pain pills and their support staff of diuretics . The last few days have been an exploration of what this body of mine will do with this particular …Continue Reading >>
Excellent lovely people, i am, or would like to call myself a documentarian. a noticer of things interesting, an asker of questions. I realize that many of you have found yourselves the subject of my scrutiny in the past and …Continue Reading >>
i am no longer feeling terror. which is such a relief.
what i feel mostly is a great deal of wonder. suddenly this amazing organic community of people that i love; that i have always known and relished; has bloomed. like some 20 year perennial. here, suddenly is a graceful flower of such remarkable visual force. such heart-stopping beauty.
my friends. ABSTRACTION: there is before and there is after. and then there is the chance that it is all a big mistake and then there is again. again after that. That. a still and condensed moment when i was …Continue Reading >>